The Elephant in the Room

New Magnet

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Man drops wedding ring

Words to live by:

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Early Impressions: Super Smash Bros. Wii U

Hey, sorry about how quick Alien Isolation was.  Apparently, I was too tired when I wrote that.  I'll try to shoot for a longer blog about this game.  Super Smash Bros. for Wii U.  I have to admit, at first, this was not on my priority list of games for the Wii U.  Super Mario 3D World is still at the top, but also still waiting.  I watched enough reviews and saw enough promos for Super Smash Bros. that had me change my mind just a little bit.  It looked like a good mix of old and new that I felt like I couldn't pass up the opportunity.  I was hooked by both the Pac-Man and Duck Hunt inclusions both as playable characters and stages.  I also noticed there were some items that came from a larger variety of video games than just Nintendo which increased my desire.  It became one of those games that had a massive Easter egg hunt in addition to the fun fighting mechanics of your favorite video game heroes.  And I was right.  I started playing this game just a few days ago, but I am hooked.  I certainly am enjoying the Easter Egg of relics from the 1970's and 80s.  I mean, how many fighting games include a screen dominating Pong as an obstacle you have to avoid while knocking your opponent off the ledges?  And then there is also an item from Galaga that pulls up and stuns your opponent for you.  And the list goes on and on.  I mean, what more is there to say about Smash Bros. that hasn't been said before?  It is a fighting game with the majority of the characters being Nintendo mascots.  As the games have continued, more characters from third party developers have been included and it seems like this version has the most out of the previous games.  The biggest thing say for this is the nostalgia for the retro gamers.  Although, I suppose the other thing to talk about would be the eight-player mode which you can do by yourself against cpu's if you can't get that many players to come over.  It is pretty insane, I have to tell you, but fun.  It does stretch the screen a little bit, so, it becomes a matter of keeping track of your character.  There are also plenty of other modes that'll keep you hooked as I am.  You'll find plenty of scenarios to overcome and difficulties to face.  At the same time, there are characters and stages to unlock and that certainly keeps me going.  I can't wait to play as Duck Hunt.  I especially like the stage ripped right from the old Donkey Kong arcade classic in all its 8-bit glory.  It sure is hard to stay on the platforms, however.  Well, anyway, that is basically my rant. Mostly, I love this game for its insane amount of retro callbacks, but of course, the game play is just as fast-paced and intense as it was back since the first game came out.  The stages that move are also a nice treat.  It is a very pretty game.  And those are my first impressions.  Okay, okay, I guess this isn't that much longer than last night's review.  But these are just first impressions.  Later, y'all.

Early Impressions - Alien: Isolation

Alright, alright, I was going to do a Good RPG/Bad RPG theme this week, but I kind of been in a different mood based on what I am playing currently.  Instead, we will look at my early impressions of Alien: Isolation for the PC.  Oh and I am going to do this review a little differently than the ones from last weekend.  They aren't going to be so formal like last weekend.  Nope, I am going to start being more random in the way I write my reviews.  At least until I find out they come across as annoying and unpleasant to read.  Alright, alright.  On with the review.  Alien: Isolation takes place some seventeen years after the events of the original Ridley Scott classic.  You take on the role of Amanda Ripley who has been given an opportunity to find out what happened to her mother who vanished and never came back (of course, we all know what happened).  So, the game begins as soon as Amanda gets stranded on a Nostromo look-a-like.  Eventually, we discover there happens to be an Alien on board.  I would insert a spoiler alert, but that just seems silly to me.  Basically, Amanda went looking for a reported flight recorder that detailed the events of the first film, but ended up following down the same path as her mother.  The Ripley legacy is apparently about meeting up with acid-bleeding aliens.  Sucks.  I definitely have to give the developers credit on the design for this game.  It is incredibly detailed when it comes to matching the visuals of the film.  I feel like I'm exploring the Nostromo itself even though it is really Sevastopl (did I spell that right?).  The computer even have that futuristic quality about them as perceived by the 1970s.  It certainly looks the part, but does it act the part?  So far, yes.  Like I said, this is early impressions as I have begun to play the game.  So far, however, I certainly feel like I am in a true Alien game based on the film.  As the player, you spend a great deal hiding and scavenging anything you can find to use as a weapon or a distraction.  It is a horror-survival game after all.  Survival-horror?  In any case, the survival-horror element works really well as that was essentially what the first film was all about.  The second film was all about the action, but apparently, that seems harder to translate into a decent video game ironically enough.  The voice acting is hit and miss, but I don't find it too distracting.  I mostly find myself invested in solving the mystery of this ship and finding out why there's an alien on board.  I enjoy the scavenging and crafting system.  It places an extra emphasis on exploration which this game already has quite a bit of.  Not bad for a non-open world RPG.  The alien itself is pretty intense and terrifying.  You never know when its going to pop out and nab you which makes it all the more fun and that you feel like you are truly in this world.  So far, my impression of this game are positive and I hope the rest of the experience continues to do so. 

Keep on Rockin'

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Chocolate!!!

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CRAP!!!

Watch where you step:

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Like Puns?

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The Lost World Gaming Weekend part 2

Welcome back to the Lost World Gaming Weekend part 2.  Sorry about the late post.  It's been a crazy day.  Yesterday, we talked about The Lost World: Jurassic Park for Sega Game Gear.  It is a fun little experience, but it was a little too short and could have added a few more levels.  Today, we will chat about Trespasser.  Oh dear, this one usually has Jurassic Park fans in an uproar for the promise of something new and exciting, but ultimately being let down with poor execution.  Be that as it may, how does this reviewer feel about the troubled game?  Read on to find out.

The Story.
Okay, so there is not much in the way of story for this game.  The premise is about some poor girl named Annie becomes the only survivor of a plane crash over an island which happens to be Site B from the second film.  This takes place one year after the events in the movie and the island is now under quarantined by the Costa Rican government.  As Annie makes her way through the treacherous island, she recalls John Hammond's memoirs which were released after the disastrous events on both islands which fill the player in on the more detailed origins of Jurassic Park.  I have to admit to giving credit for adding in these memoirs as I have found them to be interesting to hear, especially as a fan of Jurassic Park.  Other than that, not much more to say about the story other than that Richard Attenborough reprises his role as John Hammond and Minnie Driver (Yup, that lady from Good Will Hunting and the cat-strangler from GoldenEye) voices Annie.

Sound.
The voice acting is well done, the sounds of the dinosaurs mostly match their film counterparts and the island/jungle sounds assist in providing the atmosphere of the experience.  There is hardly any music throughout the game which works in its favor, I think.  This is a first person shooter and without the music, it helps you feel even more isolated on the island of dinosaurs.  I felt this really added to the terror and immersion of being stuck on the island.  You constantly had to look around to make sure nothing snuck up on you.  Kudos to the sound for this experience.

Graphics
Of course, no game would be complete without the graphics.  The immersion is complete with the graphics as the island and the dinosaurs look pretty darn good for a game that came out in 1998.  By today's standards, you can certainly see the pixels, but it doesn't matter.  The dinosaurs look great and you certainly feel the level of interaction with them...even if it kills you. 

Gameplay
Okay, okay, let us get into the meat and potatoes of any game really...the gameplay.  Trespasser is a first person shooter with some survival elements.  It is pretty basic as you are mostly going from point A to B, although there are occasions where you have to some kind of problem before advancement, such as searching for key cards to unlock certain gates.  Wow, it is pretty amusing that some of these electronic gates still work after being abandoned so many years.  The developers tried to add some realism to this game where you would have Annie actually pick up items with her hands.  It is this mechanic that broke the game, however.  Sometimes, it could be downright frustrating to get Annie accurately pick up a gun or something.  The other thing was to keep Annie limited in how much she could pick up.  However, the standard was set to two guns at a time.  I felt that she could easily have fit two pistols in her pockets while she carried the shotgun around.  At the same, weapons appeared to be plentiful and scattered all across the island.  Well, whatever works, I guess.  I actually was able to get used to the hand controlling mechanic without any issues.  Others have not from what I understand.  Your health is represented by a heart tattoo on your boobs (yeah, I think too many adolescents had a lot of fun with that one).  Once the heart crushes completely, you are dead.  If you manage to survive, however, your health will replenish itself.

Alright, let us talk about what this game could have been.  Apparently, the developers were aiming on an intense, realistic survival game with a lot more added to make the game more than just a first person shooter.  But, from what I gather, they ran out of time and money once the game delayed release a year after the film came out.  So, they released what they had which meant the game was unfinished.  This left some bugs and frustrating controls which put so many off of this game.  However, I beat it at least twice throughout the years and many times I found myself returning to replay it.  I personally enjoyed the fact that it is a version of an open world game set on one of the Jurassic Park islands.  True, the game is divided into levels with a point A to B system.  However, each level is large chunk of the island allowing you the freedom to explore and even check out hidden structures that aren't even on your route to the finish line.  If this wasn't level-restricted, you could potentially have an Elder Scrolls version of The Lost World: Jurassic Park.  The survival elements would have greatly added to expanded problem-solving, but for what it was, I enjoyed the puzzles and discoveries that were given.  I appreciated the atmosphere so much that I felt like I was truly interacting with the dinosaurs and getting the full story behind Jurassic Park.  It was quite an adventure that I found enjoyable.  And some gamers have made an attempt to make it better by creating mods.  I haven't taken part in it myself, but it sounds like it could be enticing and create a whole new experience for the game.

In conclusion, the game does take quite a bit of getting used to as far as controls go and lacks a lot of potential, especially when trying to push the boundaries of gaming.  However, for what it is, I grew quite of fond of it and enjoyed my adventure on the island.  It was filled with exploration, atmosphere and terrifying moments that made you feel you were making a last stand against every dinosaur you came across.  It could have been better, but I feel it is an underrated game that deserves a second look.  And that concludes Lost World gaming weekend.  I hope you enjoyed it and I am not sure what my next theme will be.  In the meantime, have a happy holidays.

The Lost World Gaming Weekend part 1

Last weekend, I had a theme.  I decided to review underrated but admittedly cheesy sea monster movies that I have enjoyed.  This weekend, I have decided on a different theme.  I am going to review two video games based on the Lost World: Jurassic Park film.  These two games stick out the most in terms of games based on the second film because I played them the most.  In fact, for a while there, they were the only ones I owned...I think.  Either way, they have had the most impact on my gaming experience with this franchise...well, mostly the second film of the franchise.  With that said, let us discuss The Lost World: Jurassic Park for the Sega Game Gear.

Story
The Lost World: Jurassic Park - You either love it, or you hate it. The film version got a pretty bad rap, but I thought it was entertaining (definitely milestones better than the third movie that can't even be considered a movie).  I personally enjoyed it and still do for the most part.  It was pretty entertaining.  The story for this game alters from the film as most adaptations do. Basically, you take control of an unnamed hunter who ventures into Site B for some reason that I can't remember. And for some other reason, you have a compsognanthus (you know, those little cute, but ferocious chicken dinosaurs that ate Peter Stormare in the flick) as a pet who becomes useful later on in the game. Again, I don't quite recall the motivations behind the hunter, other than just giving us a game to play. The introduction of the game is quite nice and spooky with flashes of lightning, glowing yellow eyes in the dark, the tagline "Something has Survived," and the reveal of the raptor the eyes belong to. After that, it's time to go shoot some dinosaurs.

Graphics
The graphics are nothing special, but there's nothing wrong with them either. They are good enough for the handheld with plenty of colors.   I think the jungle areas look nice, the dark alleys and spooky visitor centers have a creepy feel to them (even for a handheld), and the dinosaurs look like dinosaurs as best they can for the handheld system. Although to be honest, there were moments when I wasn't sure which dinosaurs weren't supposed to be raptors.  In one of the first levels you encounter some raptor-ish dinosaurs that hide in the long grass like in the film.  It seemed like they should be raptors, anyway.  But then, once you make it to the visitor center in the final part of the game, you encounter the raptors that look much closer to the film counterparts than what was seen in the beginning.  Okay, if those weren't raptors, what were they then?  Some minor confusion on my part I guess.  Visibility is perfect, although, that may also be due to the fact that you could control the brightness of your screen on the Game Gear.  Most of the dinosaurs look fine, I just had the issues with the uncertainty of raptors.

Music and Sound
I like the music and the sound effects. Some musical scores in video games really don't accomplish much, while others are nice and easy on the ears. The latter is true for this game. I liked the music, it was very entertaining, especially the exciting score for the boss battles. It was the same for every boss fight, but it was nice enough to listen to that the repetition didn't bother me. The sound effects were decent. Some dinosaurs chirped or roared while most only made gargantuan stomps.  Unfortunately, the raptors didn't make much noise, except when they leapt out at you or broke through an air vent, but not a huge deal. Is it just me or does it seem like I'm harping on the raptors a bit much? 

Gameplay 8/10
It is a platforming shooter.  Basically, you have one weapon throughout the entire game. That's it. Your life consists of five colored body vests. Each hit knocks you down a vest, so, five hits and you're dead. However, you have unlimited continues, which took away any challenge the game might have had. The game starts out with three levels to choose to complete in any order, but then it becomes completely linear with only three more levels to complete to beat the game.  The first three levels have you platforming, shooting and dodging animals, going from point A to B and fighting a boss.  The boss fights are pretty simple but I will give kudos to one boss fight for having some problem solving:  The Carnotaurus.  For those that haven't read the Lost World novel, Crichton included the Carnotaurus as a dinosaur that could change its color to camouflage itself.  In the game, *spoiler alert* the Carnotaurus hops around shrouded in darkness trying to eat you.  Your weapon is useless unless you switch on the lights.  It took me just a few minutes to figure this out, but I thought it added variety to an otherwise generic action game.  And speaking of variety, some of the levels that come after the first three have a fair amount of variety to them.  For example, the fourth level is all about pursuit and dodging.  You are being chased by a rather large triceratops and mostly you have to run and dodge.  A nice break from the typical shooting, but they incorporated a unique control scheme for this level that wasn't quite as smooth as it could have been.  The next level had you play as the pet compy.  Again, it was a nice break from the hunter game play as it allowed you to play as a dino when you could scale walls and attack other dinos.  The final level as back to its standard mode gameplay with a creepy atmosphere and music and complete with raptors and the T-rex as well its offspring.  It ends with a car chase trying to avoid being eaten by the rex.



Replay
I have to admit I played it over and over again.  I enjoyed it, but it was also freakin' short.  I'm not going to lie, it only took me about ten to fifteen minutes to beat it each time.  It has six short levels and unlimited continues.  The challenge factor isn't very high.  But if you enjoyed it the first time, then, you might pick it up and play it again another couple of times, because why not?

In conclusion, it is a decent game for the handheld system based on a franchise that has some variety in the gameplay.  However, it is very short with some questionable design choices and weird controls.  Ultimately, those gripes are not enough for me to put it down.  Ultimately, I enjoy the game and feel it is worth a look if you own a game gear and can find the game at a used game store.

Camera 101 Workshop

Hello, I have a friend who is teaching a photography workshop if anyone is interested:

Thank you,
   Matt

And here's one for you Jane Austen fans as requested by my BFFAE

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Holiday Fudge

And here's one for the holidays in general

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FUDGE!!!

Because who doesn't love fudge.  Now on a magnet at my store:

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Coffee Lovers

Can I warm you up?

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Gamers

Sea Monster Weekend - Deep Blue Sea

I have declared this weekend to be Sea Monster weekend because..well, I have no real reason. I just felt like it. During the week I had a theme in my head which entailed a couple of aquatic horror films that I enjoyed. So, I decided to review each one this weekend.  With that said:

WELCOME TO SEA MONSTER WEEKEND!!!

Disclaimer: Spoilers ahead!!! If you want nothing spoiled, I recommend turning back now before it's too late!!!

Today we are talking about another sea monster film that is rightfully split as far as reviews go.  It is a little known tale about genetically modifying a certain species to obtain the greater good in life.  What?  Too vague you might say?  I guess there are are a substantial amount of films that deal with this concept with Jurassic Park being the best one.  The Syfy channel sure has no shortage of nature's vengeance films.  So, without further ado, the film we will speak of is Deep Blue Sea.

Deep Blue Sea was released in 1999 and was about a scientist who had increased the brain mass of mako sharks to potentially cure Alzheimer's disease.  As a side effect, the sharks got smarter, bigger and faster than before.  Also, they became considerably more cgi.  Who knew?  *Spoiler Alert* Well, the sharks seize the opportunity to sink the floating sea laboratory, pursue their captors and make their escape into the deep blue sea.

That pretty much sums up the story.  Pretty original, right?  Alright, alright, in all seriousness, I have to admit to being hyped and excited for this film when I first heard about back in 1999.  I had read the article in an Entertainment Weekly and the little tagline they had for it was: 

Jaws meets Jurassic Park.  Why hasn't anybody thought of this before?

I thought that was a good question.  I personally felt it was a great concept.  The only image I had to go off of was one they included which featured Thomas Jane in scuba gear and a spear gun.  I was stoked at the idea and eagerly anticipated what was to come.

Well, when I first got my glimpse of the film through some television commercial, I have to admit to being slightly disappointed at the time.  Allow me to explain.  I had watched and enjoyed another Peter Benchley adaptation titled Creature roughly a year before this film was announced.  That film featured a genetically modified great white that was part human.  It had arms and legs and everything.  I thought maybe Deep Blue Sea was going a similar route and got a little too excited for amphibious shark monsters.  Alas, as the preview showcased, the sharks were lacking in any kinds of limbs and would retain their usual traits with only a few additions.  I got over my disappointment pretty quick once I actually saw the film.

I loved it.  I thought it was a blast.  Deep Blue Sea was the entertaining monster film I had need to satiate my killer shark appetite.  It also instilled enough terror in me, much as the Beast did, that I had trouble enjoying myself at Roaring Springs the next day.  It was a challenge to not envision a cgi sharp tooth-filled mouth coming at me as I was sliding down tubes on the water slides.  It certainly was amazing the kind of impact these films left on me when I was young.  Regardless, it was one of the most entertaining creature features ever.

But what about looking back at it now?  Well, as with the Beast, the adult in me has become much more critical of this film.  For one thing, the sharks look too cgi at moments in the film.  It is a little distracting, especially when there are scenes when the sharks look authentic and badass.  The other issue I have with it is the fact the sharks' scale fluctuates between cgi and practical shots.  For the love of pete, how about some consistency, huh?

Another issue is the premise.  Okay, I've come to realize that this genetic tampering plot has become more for the B to Z-grade horror flick.  It worked pretty well in Jurassic Park which stands as an A-list blockbuster, but Deep Blue Sea does float (of course, pun intended) towards the B-movie area.

The acting in this film is what you would expect from a B movie, especially of this caliber.  However, I will defend some of the actors as I felt Thomas Jane, LL Cool J and Samuel Jackson actually turned in decent roles.  I would like to especially point out Jackson's character.  He could have been another typical corporate *&#@!, but in this film, he is given is own back story and is genuinely concerned with the safety of the operation and the people involved.  That scene where *spoiler alert* he gets eaten by the shark at the tail end (still intended) of an inspiring speech was pretty awesome and unexpected.  Too bad it is slightly ruined by the cgi shark shot.  It's pretty cgi here.

Another thing that didn't make sense to me was the crew's reaction to the "revelation" that their leader had tampered with the brains of the sharks.  I'm sorry, but didn't you all know this the whole time?  Wasn't that the point of the experiment?  You're all just now turning against her and thinking this is a bad idea?  At least, Thomas Jane's character acted as voice of reason from the start.  He's like the audience guide who is also the tough action hero.  It's a great combination and works out pretty well.  LL Cool J provides great comic relief and holds his own against the sharks pretty well.  He was also entertaining to watch.  Saffron Burrows portrayed the obsessed scientist who caused all of these events to happen.  For most of the film, her character is perceived as the idiot who couldn't see what was really happening and all of us cheered when she *you guessed it, spoiler alert* got eaten by her own creation.  But, on a more positive note, I found it a well-rounded story arc for her that she sacrificed herself to stop her own creations once she realized how far her obsession went.

The action scenes are brilliantly filmed and choreographed.  Regardless of the problems this movie had, it is fast-paced and entertaining when the sharks cause damage.  The suspense is well-handled in many areas as well.  In one scene, you'll see a couple of the guys swimming through a partially flooded corridor and then cut to a shark fin also swimming through a corridor.  It made you wonder where exactly they were in relation to the other and anticipated the inevitable clash.  The film had most of its focus on the action, but there moments like this sprinkled throughout that kept the suspense up and the pace flowing.

Alright, admittedly, this film is flawed.  As a story, it has its fair share of problems which include cliche characters, a B movie premise, inconsistent effects and mediocre acting.  As an action monster film, it is quite entertaining and well paced and the effects work more often than when they don't.  While it is not quite as good as I remember first watching, I still enjoy it for what it is and recommend it if you want a fun sea monster film that will keep you invested.  And that concludes Sea Monster weekend.  I sure hope you enjoyed my reviews.  Please feel free to leave any of your thoughts in the comment section, even if they are criticisms you might have.  Thank you.

Zazzle trailer

Here you go.  A video that my good friend John and I put together to promote my design store.  Enjoy.

Sea Monster Weekend - The Beast

I have declared this weekend to be Sea Monster weekend because..well, I have no real reason.  I just felt like it.  During the week I had a theme in my head which entailed a couple of aquatic horror films that I enjoyed.  So, I decided to review each one this weekend.  Expect one more tomorrow.  With that said:

WELCOME TO SEA MONSTER WEEKEND!!!

Disclaimer:  Spoilers ahead!!!  If you want nothing spoiled, I recommend turning back now before it's too late!!!

Today's review is the television adaptation of The Beast which was based on the novel by Peter Benchley.  Hey, remember Jaws?  Remember how suspenseful and awesome that movie was?  This isn't that.  I'm sorry, I know that discolors this film completely even before I start the review.  However, I will point out that I am not actually trashing this film from the get go.  The comparisons are inevitable and I thought I should get that out of the way.  Yes, it is true, The Beast is Jaws with a a giant squid in place of a great white shark.  That was how the books read, in any case.  The films started out similar enough, but by the second half of the Beast's adaptation, there were notable differences.

Why don't we begin with the story?  Yeah, I know, I summed it up already when I stated the shark is replaced with the squid.  The story of the movie decided to go in-depth with the characters a little more so than the novel on which it is based.  In fact, the film only loosely followed the novel (big shocker, right).  The story goes that people start disappearing in the ocean and there are signs left behind that point to a giant squid as the culprit.  From there, it becomes a debate of what should be done about the situation:  Leave it alone and let it move on or kill it.  I bet your wondering which option the townspeople choose to take?  Just like in Jaws, the town's economy thrives on the ocean from fishing to tourism.  Obviously, they decide to go with option number 2. 

And they succeed!!!  Well, good for them, right?  But wait, there is a twist.  The film was divided into 2 parts as a miniseries.  And the cliffhanger ends with the death of a giant squid, but the reveal of an even larger squid, leading in to part two.  This didn't actually happen in the novel.  It was only one squid, but hey, who am I to complain, right?

Okay, time for some history on my part.  I recall the promos for this film had briefly caught my attention.  I only saw about an hour of part two before I went to bed.  I remember it was during the summer vacation period of '96.  How do I recall such specifics you may ask?  I remember swimming lessons the following morning and being too terrified from what I saw of part two to want to get in the pool.  Yup, I found it frightening.

Obviously, I had to watch the rest of it.  I actually don't remember when I did sit down to finally see it all the way through.  Mostly, I just remember taping it and watching through it quite a bit.  This was the film that started my obsession with the giant squid as the most fascinating creature of the sea.  Sorry, great white, but it was time to swim aside (see what I did there?) for Architeuthis.  I was in love with this film and thought it was pretty awesome for a while.  The giant squids themselves looked great and authentic throughout most of the film.  Not bad for a made-for-tv film unlike the Syfy channel.  The other kudos I do have to give this film is a focus on characters and their own story arcs.  That is one improvement over the book I can give it.  They even have a tough coast guard woman who deals with sexism and trying to prove herself equal.  It works out pretty well in the end, because *spoiler alert* she takes out the Beast.  Okay, okay, the male lead does pave the way for that to happen, but I still feel it gets the message across just fine, because they worked together.  Equality.  And that isn't the only arc.  There are characters who are trying to overcome their financial burdens and helplessness and it just happens to intersect with the extra problem of having a sea monster or two in their area.  The film stars William Peterson before CSI aired does a pretty good job as the reluctant fisherman Whip Dalton.  Karen Sillas played the female lead I mentioned earlier and I thought she was pretty good as well.  Unfortunately, I haven't seen her in much, but I guess she played a cop in a t.v. series titled Under Suspicion.  So, there you go, what do two police drama stars have in common?  They hunt giant squids *cue Elmer Fudd's laugh*.

Looking back on it now, my opinions have altered slightly and there are some criticisms from my new perspective.  Well, for one thing, they certainly have a lot of p.o.v. shots from the monster just like in Jaws, but they go overboard with it just a little bit.  Thankfully, they ditch it completely in part two.  It seems like the scale of the squid is all over the place.  There is one cgi shot of the beast that makes it look way bigger than it does through the rest of the film.  How about some consistency with the calamari, huh?  The acting isn't always great and some shots and even the music are a bit overly dramatic.  Back to the p.o.v. shots, they play some less than subtle music unlike in Jaws.  It is pretty overblown, but maybe that was the point since the squid is a lot bigger than the shark.

Finally, here is the kicker.  This is the big criticism that doesn't quite hold up as well as when I was a child.  Remember I stated earlier that part two ended on a cliffhanger about a larger squid?  As you go into part two, *spoiler alert again*, it is revealed that the squid that was killed was only a three-month old infant.  The larger squid is the mother who is now out for revenge against the death of her child.

I'll just let that sink in.

As a youngin', I brushed this away without a second thought.  It didn't discolor my opinion of the film at all.  If anything, I thought it upped the stakes and made it more personal.  As an adult, I find it kind of ridiculous for many reasons.  The first one being the inaccuracy of the creature on display.  From what I discovered over the years, squids lay about a thousand eggs and abandon their young.  There is no parental guidance or affection amongst these animals.  It is just a circle of life.  Making a vengeance-bent giant squid just feels a bit cheesy and maybe a desperate attempt to distance it from Jaws.  Yet, I can't help feel that this storyline mimics the lousy Jaws 3 film since that dealt with the death of a baby great white and incurred the wrath of the mother.  So, really, if you want to enjoy this film as an adult, you would have to swallow the ludicrousness of the revenge storyline from part two.  Part one merely acts as a version of Jaws.  Lucky for me, this film is rooted in enough nostalgia that I can get past the ridiculous family feud of squidom to still enjoy the film.

In closing, the film is not perfect and certainly lacks the quality of Jaws.  It places heavy emphasis on character drama while pushing the squid storyline past its boundaries of believability a bit too much.  Some of the effects are off and lack consistency on the scale of these animals and some of the acting is a little choppy.  However, in its own right, it is still a decent made for t.v. adaptation.  Most of the effects are genuine and the acting succeeds more than it fails.  Despite the goofiness of the vengeance plot, the squids still help this film succeed as a fun and entertaining sea monster movie without venturing too far in typical made-for-syfy z-grade affairs.  I still enjoy this film for what it is and think that it is underrated and not as lousy as it could have been.

Tell me how you really feel:

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Who doesn't love a kitty kitty?

zazzle.com/mlloydrandomness

And here's another one.  I hope you like Sea Monsters:

zazzle.com/mlloydrandomness

Beware of Artists

Hello and I know it has been a few months to which I am very sorry about.  But here is a post to show off my latest contribution to my webstore:

www.zazzle.com/mlloydrandomness

I have this posted on a magnet on my store.  I could put it on a shirt, poster, hat, coffee mug, etc. if you would like.  There are plenty of other designs at my store, so, have a look.  I will probably make more blog posts to show off some of the other designs I have on my store as well.  Thank you to any readers that I may have.

Hero's Log

Alright, alright, so the four posts below this one are the first four chapters of a story I am working on titled 'Hero's Log'.  It's a collection of journal entries from a standard hero within a video game world which he vents about his adventures and many deaths among many other things a video game hero is going through.  At first, I thought it might be a standalone story, but I've decided to expand the idea into more of a shared universe.  Details on that later.  For now, the first four chapters of my story are below in order from top to bottom.  The rest of the blogs are merely reviews and an introductory from me.  If you enjoy these first four chapters, please let me know.  I may send the rest to you instead of posting it on the blog, but we'll see.  Constructive criticism is always welcome.  Thank you.

1-1

Dear Log,

Whoa, my mind is blown.  I suppose I should introduce myself.  I am the Hero.  Yup, that’s right: THE HERO.  What, you were expecting a name?  Sorry, but they told me I didn’t have a name.  Apparently, I’m just “the Hero.”  Who’s they, you ask?  The floating heads…all three of them.  This really sounds weird, doesn’t it?  Hey, wait a minute, who are you to judge?  You are just a log.  Alright, alright, I started writing in this to clear my thoughts.  I suppose I should start from the beginning.  I’m still trying to figure this crap out.  Okay, so here it goes.  I was sleeping.  It was nice.  And then, these three floating heads wake me up and I freak out, naturally.  No bodies, no arms.  Just heads.  Three of them.  Floating in the air…glowing.  It was bizarre to say the least.  At that point I should have questioned my sanity, but I couldn’t help but listen to what the floating heads had to say.  It was mesmerizing to least.  Apparently, I’ve been chosen as the Hero to save the realms from the evil tyrant named…well, Tyrant.  Don’t ask, I don’t know.  All I do know is how honored I feel.  Plus, the floating heads were terrifyingly powerful and I didn’t want to screw with that (Hey, when you see glowing floating heads coming your way, you tell me you’re going to argue with them).
To be honest I was feeling like my life was going nowhere fast, anyway.  For the most part, I just kind of spend my days loitering around the village, aimlessly.  Everybody that lives here is nice enough, but still keep their distance.  It’s like they knew this was coming or something.  The myth of the selected Hero has gone around our village like you wouldn’t believe.  Basically, the idea is exactly how it went for me.  Selection by floating heads.  Alright, alright, I’ll get off the freakin’ floating heads rant already. 

You know what the weird thing about all this is?

I have had dreams and nightmares about battles and confrontations and they almost feel like memories.  It’s like I was a hero in my past life or something.  I don’t know.  I don’t get it.  But hey, it’s a big day and I’m excited.  And scared #@%^less.  I mean, holy *(#!, I am going to fight monsters and become powerful and probably die a lot.  In case you haven’t noticed, that’s quite a bit to take in.  So, I probably should get to the interesting parts since I’m just really kind of rambling.
Oh, oh, oh, you wanna hear something hilariously messed up though.  Okay, so get this, I ask for a weapon, right?

I’m like, “So, then, do I get a sword and a shield?”


And they were all like, “No.”

That’s it.  Just no.  Okay, maybe not quite.  And I did get a weapon after all.  But it is kind of embarrassing.  Alright alright, let me finish the exchange.

“Instead, you will be blessed with a stick of mighty power.”

“Say what?”

And then, they gave me a stick.  And I’m not exactly sure what this mighty power is, so I asked.

“And what is this mighty power?”

And their response was, “It is mighty power” in very thunderous echoes.  It was ominous and dramatic to say the least.  And annoyingly vague.  But I was never one to push too hard.  Too meek or something (badass hero, right?).  So, there you have it.  I have a stick.  So, the monsters will have to FEAR MY WOOD!!!!  You know what?  Why don’t we just pretend I didn’t write that, okay?  For the most part, I decided to stick with it (see what I did there?).

Moving on.  I don’t know.  There was some bull—- about growing as I go along, so, I got to start low.  I don’t have much in the way of an attention span.  To be honest, I didn’t pay much attention to everything they told me.  I was kind of lost in the epicness of it all.  What can you do, yes?
So, the next part was pretty exciting.  There are other stories that the villagers speak of…such as the forest outside our village.  Mostly, it’s treated as a ghost story.  Something about how only the most skilled warriors can enter the forest or else you won’t come back alive.  That is pretty frightening, I got to admit.  Well, in any case, I had to venture into the forest.  It makes sense when you think about it since it is the only way out.  Although, the mouthy heads did say something like:

“There are always multiple paths to any one place.”

But do I know what the hell they’re talking about?  Of course not, no attention span, remember?  Or do you have a faulty attention span as well (or am I crazy for talking to a journal entry like it’s a real person)?  But I digress, I think.  The only things I got out of this were a stick, a mission, log (that’s you) that keeps track of things and my first destination.  The rest were cryptic as hell.
So, I set out on the dangerous path through the forest.  Everyone cheered me on.  It would be nice if I could remember just one of their names.  Oh well.  I entered the dangerous forest.  And, let me tell you, it was pretty creepy.  Not going to lie.  It was certainly my first time and I was instantly spooked.  The lighting  was sparse so, it was mostly shadowy and limited in visibility.  There were no other sounds from birds or anything like that.  It felt like I was walking through the forest at night when everything was asleep.  But even at night there are crickets or some noises.  For the most part, I just heard the sound of my own feet splashing in the damp grass.  Okay, so, it wasn’t that damp, but that’s my point:  IT WAS THAT QUIET!!!  Seriously, what did the villagers ever settle in a place like this?  Oh well, why ask logical questions that I will probably never get the answers to, right?  I’m looking at you, floating heads.

But where was I?  Oh yeah, dark and creepy forest.  You know what else was off about it?  The trees.  Some of them lacked branches or any kind of wood.  Instead, they were just vines with some flower heads.  In fact, that’s what they were, giant flowers.  Weird?  You don’t know the half of it.  Finally, something happened, although to be honest, I think I had only been traversing for about a few moments.  Still, it felt like an eternity.  Then, something came closer from the pathway ahead.  My first obstacle.  This was it.  This was the moment where my true inner hero would come out to play.  It was time to put up or shut up.  It was…a giant eggplant.

A giant eggplant.

That’s enough to trip anybody out.  So, you know what I did?  This horrific vegetable came at me with fangs bared (you read that right, don’t look at me like that) and bulging eyes on each side of its body.  It didn’t have any arms, neck or head.  Basically, the body was the head and it ran on its skimpy little feet.  It came at me and I, well, I turned and ran and screamed like a little girl.  Yeah, I’m not afraid to admit that.  When a giant eggplant with sharp teeth starts chasing you, it’s a lot scarier than one can imagine.  Unfortunately, it caught up with me and ate me.  Yes, you heard that right.

I DIED!!!

But it wasn’t as painful as I thought it would be.  It was really weird.  It bit me, but instead of feeling something, everything went blank and the next thing I know I’m back at the village.  They gave me another send off despite that strangeness.  The floating heads came back once more and said:

“You have lost a life.  When that happens, you will return to the nearest checkpoint.  Because you hardly made it anywhere, you wimp, your nearest checkpoint is the beginning.  Now go out there and be a man.”

Okay, okay, they might not have said those last few parts, but still.  So, I mustered up whatever courage I could find, grabbed the stick and tried to remember it was a weapon.  And here we are back at the beginning of the forest and the eggplant came at me once more.  This time I swung the stick as hard as I could.  What happened next was quite fascinating.  The eggplant turned a different color from its natural purple to a bright red and flipped over on its head.  It was stuck with its head on the ground while its feet flailed in the air trying to escape.  After that little spectacle, I sounded my battle cry and hit it again.  To my astonishment, the little vegetable of doom exploded into a cloud of nothingness.  Just gone into thin air.  That is when my log (that’s still you) sound on my wrist.  I pushed the little green button and your screen showed me I was awarded some points or something.  The floating heads returned (and scared the #$%! out of me) to inform me about experience points as I go.

“Every time you beat an enemy, help others or solve problems, you will be awarded experience.  When you level up, you will be able to select a new power to increase your person.  It is part of your growth.”

“So, does that mean I could turn this stick into a sword?”

“If it is your wish.”

“Then, let’s do it.”

“You haven’t leveled up yet.”

“I haven’t what?”

“You haven’t leveled up yet.”

“No, I heard you the first time, but didn’t I just get…”

And they were gone before I could finish.  I fiddled with you some more before I found my experience counter.  And it turns out I have quite a ways to go before I could be more awesome.  Ah well, that just meant I had to get cracking.  So, I came across at least two more eggplants in a row.  And you know what I did?  I smacked them both at the same time and they both flipped over.  It was quite an accomplishment.  I must say, I was proud.  Then, I was killed both of them one at a time.  And I earned more experience points.  This stick was pretty awesome.  But at some point, a sword might still be nice.  Who knows what else awaits?  And there were plenty of other veggies headed my way.

Like onions for example.  Why onions?

They took a few more hits before they went down.  I panicked a little bit.  But once they were gone, I earned more experience.  And one of the onions dropped something.  It was glowing, whatever it was.  And then, it flew onto my stick and changed everything about me into some blue glowing person with a blue glowing stick.  And instantly, I knew I could emit some kind of energy from my stick.  So, guess how I cleared the forest?  Yup, that’s right.  I blasted my way out.  Every onion and eggplant fell victims to the wrath of my blue balls.

ENERGY BALLS. GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER.

It was marvelous watching this energy shoot out of my stick like a meteorite and exploding monsters that instantly vanish in the blink of an eye.  And yes, there were spiders and flies as well.  We managed to go from veggies to bugs in a short amount of time.  And I blue blasted them to bonkersville.  Mwuhahahahahahahahaha.

After  I did that, I managed to reach some kind of checkpoint, if you will.  It appeared to be the end of the first path I took and allowed me some breathing space for a bit.  I received extra points for making it this far and I accrued points from my battles.  It was nice.  Still got a way to go before advanced awesomeness.  So this is where I end this entry for now.  I’m tired and want to get some sleep.  It’s been a day.  I will write to you tomorrow, I think.

Take it easy, log.

1-2

Hiya, Log.  It’s me again.  You know, the hero-with-no-name?  Yeah, that’s the guy.  It has been another interesting day.  I’m going to try to talk about everything that happened today in as much detail as possible.  Why?  No reason.  I just feel it’s important is all.  Just bear with me that I might not make a whole lot of sense due to exhaustion, giddiness, uncertainty and the fact the pullout keyboard from the wrist mount is pretty damn small.  I’m just saying.

So, anyway, I breezed through yesterday, especially in my first entry.  But I think it was pretty obvious that I was not settling down any time soon.  So much happened that I felt like a kid in a candy cottage.   Mmmmm, candy.  Oh, sorry.  So, the next area I was forced to traversed today was underground.  That’s right, I had to go underground for this one.  Now that was some kind of freaky.  Let’s start from the beginning.  No smartass remarks, please.

So, I woke up and ate some perfectly prepared breakfast (those floating heads are awfully generous).  Then, I came to a dead end.  I thought to myself:

Huh, that’s weird.

Yeah, it was pretty weird.  I looked around, but this voice kept booming:

STAY ON THE PATH!!!

That startled me a considerable amount, not going to lie.  I knew it was the heads.  I should probably think up a new name for them, because the floating heads is getting kind of boring.  Ah well, I’ll just note this.

Okay, so, I decided to walk forward after I did a little shrug.  Pretty soon, the whole ground shook.  I was startled by the Earthquake, but you won’t guess what happened next.
It literally lowered like a ramp underneath the hill that was barring my way (heh, I like that word barring).  I sat there in awe, until the voice went:

NOW GIT!!!

And I did.  I ran below into the darkness while the ground lifted itself back up.  Although, it wasn’t completely dark.  There were mounted torches on the walls. so, it was lit enough that I could see.  Still, I couldn’t help but feel if there was going to be anything else that could top the eggplants.  Yeah, I know.  I already encountered a variety of creatures in my first trip.  But they sure as hell didn’t top the eggplants.  That was just bizarre.  What can you do, right?  Just kill them with the boomstick of death.  Did I mention I still glowed blue and could still shoot things?  I’m very proud of that.  In fact, I shot a blue comet into the darkness to see how it lit up and the area got considerably brighter as I did so.  And yes, I call them blue comets now.  Don’t judge me.
So, I advanced further and as expected, I heard shuffling in the dark.  I knew it wasn’t long before more adversaries would be coming for me next.  Well, what do you know?  On closer inspection, I saw they were not eggplants.  Instead, they were big worms.  Yup, worms.  Hey, why not?  I was underground anyway.  I’m not sure if I should be surprised by this anymore.
Well, I blasted my blue projectile at the worm.  It didn’t die right away.  It kept moving.  And it was faster.  It turned a red color, just like the eggplants when I flipped them over.  But it moved faster.  I panicked and fired again.

Still faster.

It was about to bite me.  I fired again.  And then it went poof.  And I said:


“WELL, SCREW ME!”

So, now I knew.  It takes two hits to kill the eggplants and three hits to kill the worms.  Gee, I’m thrilled to find out how much it's going to take to kill more enemies as I go.  Is this all heroes seriously do?  I just started, so, I should give it some time.  I might find it a little depressing if all I get to do is plow through monsters that get harder and harder to kill the closer I get to the Tyrant’s castle.  You know what I’m going to refer to the Tyrant as the Lord of Darkness from now on.  Just because it sounds more awesome, that’s why.  Come to think of it, it was never explained to me exactly why I need to take this guy down.  I guess Tyrant kind of speaks for itself, but it still would be nice to have some more details.  Never heard stories about him before.
But I’m just rambling.  So, back to the adventure.  And as I progress, there are more worms crawling my way.  I sit there and shoot until they go down and then, I advance further.
And then fall into a black hole and start from the entrance.  Yeah, totally didn’t see that coming.  It was kind of annoying.  You know why it was kind of annoying.  Well, apart from the fact that I died and had to start from scratch, I also lost my glowing blue powers.  The hell?  That was awesome.

Now it’s just the stick?

Oh, and that’s not the best part, are you ready for the best part?  It takes six hits beating the worms before they go poof.  That was exhausting.  Not to mention too many close calls.  If I got bitten and had to start back at the beginning, I would have been real upset.  Come on, it makes perfect sense, right?  Aw screw it.  At the very least, I made it further.  And yes, I made it past the cliff.  You want to know how?  I missed the bridge.  There was a bridge and I fell through just a few feet on its left.
Did I mention I hate my life?  And the extras?

Yeah, so, I walked on the bridge, got about halfway and then, I hear a new noise to which I was like:

“Oh boy, more fun.”

I turned behind me and saw the bridge collapsing at a rapid rate.

“Oh shit,” was my response.

Least to say, I hightailed it out of there just in the nick of time.  But I barely had any more time to catch my breath when some flying creature swooped down on me and nearly took my head off.  Little bastard.  It came back and I swung at it.  And guess what?  It didn’t take any extra hits.  It just went down.  Thank the heads for that.  Couldn’t tell for sure what that was.  Some kind of underground bat.  Maybe it was a flying eggplant, mwuhahahahahahahaha.  I’ve been underground too long.  A few more of these flew my way and I took them down just as easily.  Luckily, one of them left me a little present:  A blue powerup thingy again.  It was glorious, I got my power back.  And I was going to wreak havoc on any living thing that dared cross my path.  I shot through some more flying whatevers and worms before I made it to another cliff.  I was patient enough to see this had a moving platform.  I waited and then boarded said platform.  I got kind of dizzy staring down in the darkness.  It was a bit much and I don’t care for heights.  I couldn’t wait to get off.
When I did, I was greeted with a few more worms and flying thingies (I seriously need a name for those, too).  I shot my way through and then, fell through the ground at least twice.  Yeah, apparently, there were trapdoors in the ground or something.  Either way, they threw off my groove.  Still, it wasn’t hard to climb out.  Then, more monsters came after me and it became this nonstop cycle of beasts and obstacles and pits and beasts and obstacles and pits and breath….breath…breeeeeaaaaattttthhh.

In other words, I had to catch my breath.  While I did, I noticed something interesting on my log watch here (that’s still you, don’t worry, no need to be jealous).  It was flashing at me that I had indeed leveled up.  Sweet, I can now upgrade my weapon.  But my god, there were so many choices.  Did I want my stick to become a sword?  How about a bow and arrow instead?  I mean, ranged attacks are also pretty beneficial.  Oh wait, oh wait.  There was also a mallet.  Sweet.  The options were here and there.  What did I want right now?  I went with the sword.  Yeah, I know.  It was what I had anticipated all this time.  Before my very eyes, the stick glowed and then morphed into a shining beauty made of steel.  It felt right in my hands as well.  I liked it.  And then, I had renewed energy.  I was like:

“COME ON YOU WEIRD-ASS BEASTS, BRING IT ON.  WHO WANTS TO MAKE THE FINAL CUT?”

Awwwww, got to love one-liners.  And guess what?  It took less time to cut down the brutes then sticking it to them.  It felt glorious.  Oh yeah, right before I leveled up, I did lose my blue power again.  What can I say, I couldn’t avoid every hit that came at me.  But now, I had a sword.  And I felt like I grew a bit as a result.  I don’t quite think this was what the heads had in mind when they said that, but I didn’t care.  Now I felt like a true monster slayer.
And now that I just wrote that, I question whether or not that’s something to be proud of.  I don’t know.  All I know is, I pushed on as always in a rapid cycle of slicing and dicing and moving platforms.

And then, as I approached a quieter area, something caught my eye.  I was close to what appeared to be the exit.  The ground (although from down here it felt more like the ceiling) had lowered once more and sunlight came through.  And then it shined on a boulder that appeared to be blocking an entryway.  It was almost like a cavern on the other side, maybe.

And you know what else?

I ran into such a shining boulder back in the forest.  I thought it odd then, as well.  However, I didn’t dwell on it too much until now.  Now, I took the time to figure it out.  As I stared at it, I remembered the floating demigods (what, it sounds cool, doesn’t it) mentioning how there is always multiple paths to the same places.  Maybe there are multiple exits as well.  What could these areas lead to beyond these rocks.  I decided to try and test it out.  So, you know what I did?  I wacked it with my sword.  What?  Sword beats rock, right?  Evidently not, because the darn thing wouldn’t break.  I got pretty frustrated it.  It was too the point that I punched it because I was so upset.

And then I hurt my hand.

Yeah, that wasn’t the smartest thing to do. I gave up and walked away in pain.  I decided it was time to leave the cavern and be on my way.  I got back to the surface and the ground closed up once more.  I made it to the other side of the mountain by going under it.  And all I have to say to that is thank the lords for I would have lost my mind being down there for too long.  Too dark and oblivious for my me.

Still, I came away from this excursion with more questions.  I really wanted to know more about the Lord of darkness/tyrant person.  I wanted to know what was behind those rocks.  I also wanted to know if I should feel bad about actually killing monsters.  And then I started to wonder about the heads themselves.  They are pretty mysterious in their own way.

As I pondered such deep thoughts, I came up with an instant idea.  One of my leveled up items included a giant hammer.  I could have used that to smash in these rocks.  So I checked how many points have until I level up next:

15/203140

Sigh.  Oh well, maybe if I can return to this spot eventually, we’ll be good to go.  Well, that’s all for now, log.  I’m so exhausted I can sleep like a you tonight (get it, because your a log?).  Right, I really hate my life, but anywho, have a good one.