Hiya, Log. It’s me again. You know, the hero-with-no-name? Yeah, that’s the guy. It has been another interesting day. I’m going to try to talk about everything that happened today in as much detail as possible. Why? No reason. I just feel it’s important is all. Just bear with me that I might not make a whole lot of sense due to exhaustion, giddiness, uncertainty and the fact the pullout keyboard from the wrist mount is pretty damn small. I’m just saying.
So, anyway, I breezed through yesterday, especially in my first entry. But I think it was pretty obvious that I was not settling down any time soon. So much happened that I felt like a kid in a candy cottage. Mmmmm, candy. Oh, sorry. So, the next area I was forced to traversed today was underground. That’s right, I had to go underground for this one. Now that was some kind of freaky. Let’s start from the beginning. No smartass remarks, please.
So, I woke up and ate some perfectly prepared breakfast (those floating heads are awfully generous). Then, I came to a dead end. I thought to myself:
Huh, that’s weird.
Yeah, it was pretty weird. I looked around, but this voice kept booming:
STAY ON THE PATH!!!
That startled me a considerable amount, not going to lie. I knew it was the heads. I should probably think up a new name for them, because the floating heads is getting kind of boring. Ah well, I’ll just note this.
Okay, so, I decided to walk forward after I did a little shrug. Pretty soon, the whole ground shook. I was startled by the Earthquake, but you won’t guess what happened next.
It literally lowered like a ramp underneath the hill that was barring my way (heh, I like that word barring). I sat there in awe, until the voice went:
NOW GIT!!!
And I did. I ran below into the darkness while the ground lifted itself back up. Although, it wasn’t completely dark. There were mounted torches on the walls. so, it was lit enough that I could see. Still, I couldn’t help but feel if there was going to be anything else that could top the eggplants. Yeah, I know. I already encountered a variety of creatures in my first trip. But they sure as hell didn’t top the eggplants. That was just bizarre. What can you do, right? Just kill them with the boomstick of death. Did I mention I still glowed blue and could still shoot things? I’m very proud of that. In fact, I shot a blue comet into the darkness to see how it lit up and the area got considerably brighter as I did so. And yes, I call them blue comets now. Don’t judge me.
So, I advanced further and as expected, I heard shuffling in the dark. I knew it wasn’t long before more adversaries would be coming for me next. Well, what do you know? On closer inspection, I saw they were not eggplants. Instead, they were big worms. Yup, worms. Hey, why not? I was underground anyway. I’m not sure if I should be surprised by this anymore.
Well, I blasted my blue projectile at the worm. It didn’t die right away. It kept moving. And it was faster. It turned a red color, just like the eggplants when I flipped them over. But it moved faster. I panicked and fired again.
Still faster.
It was about to bite me. I fired again. And then it went poof. And I said:
“WELL, SCREW ME!”
So, now I knew. It takes two hits to kill the eggplants and three hits to kill the worms. Gee, I’m thrilled to find out how much it's going to take to kill more enemies as I go. Is this all heroes seriously do? I just started, so, I should give it some time. I might find it a little depressing if all I get to do is plow through monsters that get harder and harder to kill the closer I get to the Tyrant’s castle. You know what I’m going to refer to the Tyrant as the Lord of Darkness from now on. Just because it sounds more awesome, that’s why. Come to think of it, it was never explained to me exactly why I need to take this guy down. I guess Tyrant kind of speaks for itself, but it still would be nice to have some more details. Never heard stories about him before.
But I’m just rambling. So, back to the adventure. And as I progress, there are more worms crawling my way. I sit there and shoot until they go down and then, I advance further.
And then fall into a black hole and start from the entrance. Yeah, totally didn’t see that coming. It was kind of annoying. You know why it was kind of annoying. Well, apart from the fact that I died and had to start from scratch, I also lost my glowing blue powers. The hell? That was awesome.
Now it’s just the stick?
Oh, and that’s not the best part, are you ready for the best part? It takes six hits beating the worms before they go poof. That was exhausting. Not to mention too many close calls. If I got bitten and had to start back at the beginning, I would have been real upset. Come on, it makes perfect sense, right? Aw screw it. At the very least, I made it further. And yes, I made it past the cliff. You want to know how? I missed the bridge. There was a bridge and I fell through just a few feet on its left.
Did I mention I hate my life? And the extras?
Yeah, so, I walked on the bridge, got about halfway and then, I hear a new noise to which I was like:
“Oh boy, more fun.”
I turned behind me and saw the bridge collapsing at a rapid rate.
“Oh shit,” was my response.
Least to say, I hightailed it out of there just in the nick of time. But I barely had any more time to catch my breath when some flying creature swooped down on me and nearly took my head off. Little bastard. It came back and I swung at it. And guess what? It didn’t take any extra hits. It just went down. Thank the heads for that. Couldn’t tell for sure what that was. Some kind of underground bat. Maybe it was a flying eggplant, mwuhahahahahahahaha. I’ve been underground too long. A few more of these flew my way and I took them down just as easily. Luckily, one of them left me a little present: A blue powerup thingy again. It was glorious, I got my power back. And I was going to wreak havoc on any living thing that dared cross my path. I shot through some more flying whatevers and worms before I made it to another cliff. I was patient enough to see this had a moving platform. I waited and then boarded said platform. I got kind of dizzy staring down in the darkness. It was a bit much and I don’t care for heights. I couldn’t wait to get off.
When I did, I was greeted with a few more worms and flying thingies (I seriously need a name for those, too). I shot my way through and then, fell through the ground at least twice. Yeah, apparently, there were trapdoors in the ground or something. Either way, they threw off my groove. Still, it wasn’t hard to climb out. Then, more monsters came after me and it became this nonstop cycle of beasts and obstacles and pits and beasts and obstacles and pits and breath….breath…breeeeeaaaaattttthhh.
In other words, I had to catch my breath. While I did, I noticed something interesting on my log watch here (that’s still you, don’t worry, no need to be jealous). It was flashing at me that I had indeed leveled up. Sweet, I can now upgrade my weapon. But my god, there were so many choices. Did I want my stick to become a sword? How about a bow and arrow instead? I mean, ranged attacks are also pretty beneficial. Oh wait, oh wait. There was also a mallet. Sweet. The options were here and there. What did I want right now? I went with the sword. Yeah, I know. It was what I had anticipated all this time. Before my very eyes, the stick glowed and then morphed into a shining beauty made of steel. It felt right in my hands as well. I liked it. And then, I had renewed energy. I was like:
“COME ON YOU WEIRD-ASS BEASTS, BRING IT ON. WHO WANTS TO MAKE THE FINAL CUT?”
Awwwww, got to love one-liners. And guess what? It took less time to cut down the brutes then sticking it to them. It felt glorious. Oh yeah, right before I leveled up, I did lose my blue power again. What can I say, I couldn’t avoid every hit that came at me. But now, I had a sword. And I felt like I grew a bit as a result. I don’t quite think this was what the heads had in mind when they said that, but I didn’t care. Now I felt like a true monster slayer.
And now that I just wrote that, I question whether or not that’s something to be proud of. I don’t know. All I know is, I pushed on as always in a rapid cycle of slicing and dicing and moving platforms.
And then, as I approached a quieter area, something caught my eye. I was close to what appeared to be the exit. The ground (although from down here it felt more like the ceiling) had lowered once more and sunlight came through. And then it shined on a boulder that appeared to be blocking an entryway. It was almost like a cavern on the other side, maybe.
And you know what else?
I ran into such a shining boulder back in the forest. I thought it odd then, as well. However, I didn’t dwell on it too much until now. Now, I took the time to figure it out. As I stared at it, I remembered the floating demigods (what, it sounds cool, doesn’t it) mentioning how there is always multiple paths to the same places. Maybe there are multiple exits as well. What could these areas lead to beyond these rocks. I decided to try and test it out. So, you know what I did? I wacked it with my sword. What? Sword beats rock, right? Evidently not, because the darn thing wouldn’t break. I got pretty frustrated it. It was too the point that I punched it because I was so upset.
And then I hurt my hand.
Yeah, that wasn’t the smartest thing to do. I gave up and walked away in pain. I decided it was time to leave the cavern and be on my way. I got back to the surface and the ground closed up once more. I made it to the other side of the mountain by going under it. And all I have to say to that is thank the lords for I would have lost my mind being down there for too long. Too dark and oblivious for my me.
Still, I came away from this excursion with more
questions. I really wanted to know more about the Lord of darkness/tyrant
person. I wanted to know what was behind those rocks. I also wanted
to know if I should feel bad about actually killing monsters. And then I
started to wonder about the heads themselves. They are pretty mysterious
in their own way.
As I pondered such deep thoughts, I came up with an
instant idea. One of my leveled up items included a giant hammer. I
could have used that to smash in these rocks. So I checked how many
points have until I level up next:
15/203140
Sigh. Oh well, maybe if I can return to this spot eventually, we’ll be good to go. Well, that’s all for now, log. I’m so exhausted I can sleep like a you tonight (get it, because your a log?). Right, I really hate my life, but anywho, have a good one.
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