Hero's Log

Alright, alright, so the four posts below this one are the first four chapters of a story I am working on titled 'Hero's Log'.  It's a collection of journal entries from a standard hero within a video game world which he vents about his adventures and many deaths among many other things a video game hero is going through.  At first, I thought it might be a standalone story, but I've decided to expand the idea into more of a shared universe.  Details on that later.  For now, the first four chapters of my story are below in order from top to bottom.  The rest of the blogs are merely reviews and an introductory from me.  If you enjoy these first four chapters, please let me know.  I may send the rest to you instead of posting it on the blog, but we'll see.  Constructive criticism is always welcome.  Thank you.

1-1

Dear Log,

Whoa, my mind is blown.  I suppose I should introduce myself.  I am the Hero.  Yup, that’s right: THE HERO.  What, you were expecting a name?  Sorry, but they told me I didn’t have a name.  Apparently, I’m just “the Hero.”  Who’s they, you ask?  The floating heads…all three of them.  This really sounds weird, doesn’t it?  Hey, wait a minute, who are you to judge?  You are just a log.  Alright, alright, I started writing in this to clear my thoughts.  I suppose I should start from the beginning.  I’m still trying to figure this crap out.  Okay, so here it goes.  I was sleeping.  It was nice.  And then, these three floating heads wake me up and I freak out, naturally.  No bodies, no arms.  Just heads.  Three of them.  Floating in the air…glowing.  It was bizarre to say the least.  At that point I should have questioned my sanity, but I couldn’t help but listen to what the floating heads had to say.  It was mesmerizing to least.  Apparently, I’ve been chosen as the Hero to save the realms from the evil tyrant named…well, Tyrant.  Don’t ask, I don’t know.  All I do know is how honored I feel.  Plus, the floating heads were terrifyingly powerful and I didn’t want to screw with that (Hey, when you see glowing floating heads coming your way, you tell me you’re going to argue with them).
To be honest I was feeling like my life was going nowhere fast, anyway.  For the most part, I just kind of spend my days loitering around the village, aimlessly.  Everybody that lives here is nice enough, but still keep their distance.  It’s like they knew this was coming or something.  The myth of the selected Hero has gone around our village like you wouldn’t believe.  Basically, the idea is exactly how it went for me.  Selection by floating heads.  Alright, alright, I’ll get off the freakin’ floating heads rant already. 

You know what the weird thing about all this is?

I have had dreams and nightmares about battles and confrontations and they almost feel like memories.  It’s like I was a hero in my past life or something.  I don’t know.  I don’t get it.  But hey, it’s a big day and I’m excited.  And scared #@%^less.  I mean, holy *(#!, I am going to fight monsters and become powerful and probably die a lot.  In case you haven’t noticed, that’s quite a bit to take in.  So, I probably should get to the interesting parts since I’m just really kind of rambling.
Oh, oh, oh, you wanna hear something hilariously messed up though.  Okay, so get this, I ask for a weapon, right?

I’m like, “So, then, do I get a sword and a shield?”


And they were all like, “No.”

That’s it.  Just no.  Okay, maybe not quite.  And I did get a weapon after all.  But it is kind of embarrassing.  Alright alright, let me finish the exchange.

“Instead, you will be blessed with a stick of mighty power.”

“Say what?”

And then, they gave me a stick.  And I’m not exactly sure what this mighty power is, so I asked.

“And what is this mighty power?”

And their response was, “It is mighty power” in very thunderous echoes.  It was ominous and dramatic to say the least.  And annoyingly vague.  But I was never one to push too hard.  Too meek or something (badass hero, right?).  So, there you have it.  I have a stick.  So, the monsters will have to FEAR MY WOOD!!!!  You know what?  Why don’t we just pretend I didn’t write that, okay?  For the most part, I decided to stick with it (see what I did there?).

Moving on.  I don’t know.  There was some bull—- about growing as I go along, so, I got to start low.  I don’t have much in the way of an attention span.  To be honest, I didn’t pay much attention to everything they told me.  I was kind of lost in the epicness of it all.  What can you do, yes?
So, the next part was pretty exciting.  There are other stories that the villagers speak of…such as the forest outside our village.  Mostly, it’s treated as a ghost story.  Something about how only the most skilled warriors can enter the forest or else you won’t come back alive.  That is pretty frightening, I got to admit.  Well, in any case, I had to venture into the forest.  It makes sense when you think about it since it is the only way out.  Although, the mouthy heads did say something like:

“There are always multiple paths to any one place.”

But do I know what the hell they’re talking about?  Of course not, no attention span, remember?  Or do you have a faulty attention span as well (or am I crazy for talking to a journal entry like it’s a real person)?  But I digress, I think.  The only things I got out of this were a stick, a mission, log (that’s you) that keeps track of things and my first destination.  The rest were cryptic as hell.
So, I set out on the dangerous path through the forest.  Everyone cheered me on.  It would be nice if I could remember just one of their names.  Oh well.  I entered the dangerous forest.  And, let me tell you, it was pretty creepy.  Not going to lie.  It was certainly my first time and I was instantly spooked.  The lighting  was sparse so, it was mostly shadowy and limited in visibility.  There were no other sounds from birds or anything like that.  It felt like I was walking through the forest at night when everything was asleep.  But even at night there are crickets or some noises.  For the most part, I just heard the sound of my own feet splashing in the damp grass.  Okay, so, it wasn’t that damp, but that’s my point:  IT WAS THAT QUIET!!!  Seriously, what did the villagers ever settle in a place like this?  Oh well, why ask logical questions that I will probably never get the answers to, right?  I’m looking at you, floating heads.

But where was I?  Oh yeah, dark and creepy forest.  You know what else was off about it?  The trees.  Some of them lacked branches or any kind of wood.  Instead, they were just vines with some flower heads.  In fact, that’s what they were, giant flowers.  Weird?  You don’t know the half of it.  Finally, something happened, although to be honest, I think I had only been traversing for about a few moments.  Still, it felt like an eternity.  Then, something came closer from the pathway ahead.  My first obstacle.  This was it.  This was the moment where my true inner hero would come out to play.  It was time to put up or shut up.  It was…a giant eggplant.

A giant eggplant.

That’s enough to trip anybody out.  So, you know what I did?  This horrific vegetable came at me with fangs bared (you read that right, don’t look at me like that) and bulging eyes on each side of its body.  It didn’t have any arms, neck or head.  Basically, the body was the head and it ran on its skimpy little feet.  It came at me and I, well, I turned and ran and screamed like a little girl.  Yeah, I’m not afraid to admit that.  When a giant eggplant with sharp teeth starts chasing you, it’s a lot scarier than one can imagine.  Unfortunately, it caught up with me and ate me.  Yes, you heard that right.

I DIED!!!

But it wasn’t as painful as I thought it would be.  It was really weird.  It bit me, but instead of feeling something, everything went blank and the next thing I know I’m back at the village.  They gave me another send off despite that strangeness.  The floating heads came back once more and said:

“You have lost a life.  When that happens, you will return to the nearest checkpoint.  Because you hardly made it anywhere, you wimp, your nearest checkpoint is the beginning.  Now go out there and be a man.”

Okay, okay, they might not have said those last few parts, but still.  So, I mustered up whatever courage I could find, grabbed the stick and tried to remember it was a weapon.  And here we are back at the beginning of the forest and the eggplant came at me once more.  This time I swung the stick as hard as I could.  What happened next was quite fascinating.  The eggplant turned a different color from its natural purple to a bright red and flipped over on its head.  It was stuck with its head on the ground while its feet flailed in the air trying to escape.  After that little spectacle, I sounded my battle cry and hit it again.  To my astonishment, the little vegetable of doom exploded into a cloud of nothingness.  Just gone into thin air.  That is when my log (that’s still you) sound on my wrist.  I pushed the little green button and your screen showed me I was awarded some points or something.  The floating heads returned (and scared the #$%! out of me) to inform me about experience points as I go.

“Every time you beat an enemy, help others or solve problems, you will be awarded experience.  When you level up, you will be able to select a new power to increase your person.  It is part of your growth.”

“So, does that mean I could turn this stick into a sword?”

“If it is your wish.”

“Then, let’s do it.”

“You haven’t leveled up yet.”

“I haven’t what?”

“You haven’t leveled up yet.”

“No, I heard you the first time, but didn’t I just get…”

And they were gone before I could finish.  I fiddled with you some more before I found my experience counter.  And it turns out I have quite a ways to go before I could be more awesome.  Ah well, that just meant I had to get cracking.  So, I came across at least two more eggplants in a row.  And you know what I did?  I smacked them both at the same time and they both flipped over.  It was quite an accomplishment.  I must say, I was proud.  Then, I was killed both of them one at a time.  And I earned more experience points.  This stick was pretty awesome.  But at some point, a sword might still be nice.  Who knows what else awaits?  And there were plenty of other veggies headed my way.

Like onions for example.  Why onions?

They took a few more hits before they went down.  I panicked a little bit.  But once they were gone, I earned more experience.  And one of the onions dropped something.  It was glowing, whatever it was.  And then, it flew onto my stick and changed everything about me into some blue glowing person with a blue glowing stick.  And instantly, I knew I could emit some kind of energy from my stick.  So, guess how I cleared the forest?  Yup, that’s right.  I blasted my way out.  Every onion and eggplant fell victims to the wrath of my blue balls.

ENERGY BALLS. GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER.

It was marvelous watching this energy shoot out of my stick like a meteorite and exploding monsters that instantly vanish in the blink of an eye.  And yes, there were spiders and flies as well.  We managed to go from veggies to bugs in a short amount of time.  And I blue blasted them to bonkersville.  Mwuhahahahahahahahaha.

After  I did that, I managed to reach some kind of checkpoint, if you will.  It appeared to be the end of the first path I took and allowed me some breathing space for a bit.  I received extra points for making it this far and I accrued points from my battles.  It was nice.  Still got a way to go before advanced awesomeness.  So this is where I end this entry for now.  I’m tired and want to get some sleep.  It’s been a day.  I will write to you tomorrow, I think.

Take it easy, log.

1-2

Hiya, Log.  It’s me again.  You know, the hero-with-no-name?  Yeah, that’s the guy.  It has been another interesting day.  I’m going to try to talk about everything that happened today in as much detail as possible.  Why?  No reason.  I just feel it’s important is all.  Just bear with me that I might not make a whole lot of sense due to exhaustion, giddiness, uncertainty and the fact the pullout keyboard from the wrist mount is pretty damn small.  I’m just saying.

So, anyway, I breezed through yesterday, especially in my first entry.  But I think it was pretty obvious that I was not settling down any time soon.  So much happened that I felt like a kid in a candy cottage.   Mmmmm, candy.  Oh, sorry.  So, the next area I was forced to traversed today was underground.  That’s right, I had to go underground for this one.  Now that was some kind of freaky.  Let’s start from the beginning.  No smartass remarks, please.

So, I woke up and ate some perfectly prepared breakfast (those floating heads are awfully generous).  Then, I came to a dead end.  I thought to myself:

Huh, that’s weird.

Yeah, it was pretty weird.  I looked around, but this voice kept booming:

STAY ON THE PATH!!!

That startled me a considerable amount, not going to lie.  I knew it was the heads.  I should probably think up a new name for them, because the floating heads is getting kind of boring.  Ah well, I’ll just note this.

Okay, so, I decided to walk forward after I did a little shrug.  Pretty soon, the whole ground shook.  I was startled by the Earthquake, but you won’t guess what happened next.
It literally lowered like a ramp underneath the hill that was barring my way (heh, I like that word barring).  I sat there in awe, until the voice went:

NOW GIT!!!

And I did.  I ran below into the darkness while the ground lifted itself back up.  Although, it wasn’t completely dark.  There were mounted torches on the walls. so, it was lit enough that I could see.  Still, I couldn’t help but feel if there was going to be anything else that could top the eggplants.  Yeah, I know.  I already encountered a variety of creatures in my first trip.  But they sure as hell didn’t top the eggplants.  That was just bizarre.  What can you do, right?  Just kill them with the boomstick of death.  Did I mention I still glowed blue and could still shoot things?  I’m very proud of that.  In fact, I shot a blue comet into the darkness to see how it lit up and the area got considerably brighter as I did so.  And yes, I call them blue comets now.  Don’t judge me.
So, I advanced further and as expected, I heard shuffling in the dark.  I knew it wasn’t long before more adversaries would be coming for me next.  Well, what do you know?  On closer inspection, I saw they were not eggplants.  Instead, they were big worms.  Yup, worms.  Hey, why not?  I was underground anyway.  I’m not sure if I should be surprised by this anymore.
Well, I blasted my blue projectile at the worm.  It didn’t die right away.  It kept moving.  And it was faster.  It turned a red color, just like the eggplants when I flipped them over.  But it moved faster.  I panicked and fired again.

Still faster.

It was about to bite me.  I fired again.  And then it went poof.  And I said:


“WELL, SCREW ME!”

So, now I knew.  It takes two hits to kill the eggplants and three hits to kill the worms.  Gee, I’m thrilled to find out how much it's going to take to kill more enemies as I go.  Is this all heroes seriously do?  I just started, so, I should give it some time.  I might find it a little depressing if all I get to do is plow through monsters that get harder and harder to kill the closer I get to the Tyrant’s castle.  You know what I’m going to refer to the Tyrant as the Lord of Darkness from now on.  Just because it sounds more awesome, that’s why.  Come to think of it, it was never explained to me exactly why I need to take this guy down.  I guess Tyrant kind of speaks for itself, but it still would be nice to have some more details.  Never heard stories about him before.
But I’m just rambling.  So, back to the adventure.  And as I progress, there are more worms crawling my way.  I sit there and shoot until they go down and then, I advance further.
And then fall into a black hole and start from the entrance.  Yeah, totally didn’t see that coming.  It was kind of annoying.  You know why it was kind of annoying.  Well, apart from the fact that I died and had to start from scratch, I also lost my glowing blue powers.  The hell?  That was awesome.

Now it’s just the stick?

Oh, and that’s not the best part, are you ready for the best part?  It takes six hits beating the worms before they go poof.  That was exhausting.  Not to mention too many close calls.  If I got bitten and had to start back at the beginning, I would have been real upset.  Come on, it makes perfect sense, right?  Aw screw it.  At the very least, I made it further.  And yes, I made it past the cliff.  You want to know how?  I missed the bridge.  There was a bridge and I fell through just a few feet on its left.
Did I mention I hate my life?  And the extras?

Yeah, so, I walked on the bridge, got about halfway and then, I hear a new noise to which I was like:

“Oh boy, more fun.”

I turned behind me and saw the bridge collapsing at a rapid rate.

“Oh shit,” was my response.

Least to say, I hightailed it out of there just in the nick of time.  But I barely had any more time to catch my breath when some flying creature swooped down on me and nearly took my head off.  Little bastard.  It came back and I swung at it.  And guess what?  It didn’t take any extra hits.  It just went down.  Thank the heads for that.  Couldn’t tell for sure what that was.  Some kind of underground bat.  Maybe it was a flying eggplant, mwuhahahahahahahaha.  I’ve been underground too long.  A few more of these flew my way and I took them down just as easily.  Luckily, one of them left me a little present:  A blue powerup thingy again.  It was glorious, I got my power back.  And I was going to wreak havoc on any living thing that dared cross my path.  I shot through some more flying whatevers and worms before I made it to another cliff.  I was patient enough to see this had a moving platform.  I waited and then boarded said platform.  I got kind of dizzy staring down in the darkness.  It was a bit much and I don’t care for heights.  I couldn’t wait to get off.
When I did, I was greeted with a few more worms and flying thingies (I seriously need a name for those, too).  I shot my way through and then, fell through the ground at least twice.  Yeah, apparently, there were trapdoors in the ground or something.  Either way, they threw off my groove.  Still, it wasn’t hard to climb out.  Then, more monsters came after me and it became this nonstop cycle of beasts and obstacles and pits and beasts and obstacles and pits and breath….breath…breeeeeaaaaattttthhh.

In other words, I had to catch my breath.  While I did, I noticed something interesting on my log watch here (that’s still you, don’t worry, no need to be jealous).  It was flashing at me that I had indeed leveled up.  Sweet, I can now upgrade my weapon.  But my god, there were so many choices.  Did I want my stick to become a sword?  How about a bow and arrow instead?  I mean, ranged attacks are also pretty beneficial.  Oh wait, oh wait.  There was also a mallet.  Sweet.  The options were here and there.  What did I want right now?  I went with the sword.  Yeah, I know.  It was what I had anticipated all this time.  Before my very eyes, the stick glowed and then morphed into a shining beauty made of steel.  It felt right in my hands as well.  I liked it.  And then, I had renewed energy.  I was like:

“COME ON YOU WEIRD-ASS BEASTS, BRING IT ON.  WHO WANTS TO MAKE THE FINAL CUT?”

Awwwww, got to love one-liners.  And guess what?  It took less time to cut down the brutes then sticking it to them.  It felt glorious.  Oh yeah, right before I leveled up, I did lose my blue power again.  What can I say, I couldn’t avoid every hit that came at me.  But now, I had a sword.  And I felt like I grew a bit as a result.  I don’t quite think this was what the heads had in mind when they said that, but I didn’t care.  Now I felt like a true monster slayer.
And now that I just wrote that, I question whether or not that’s something to be proud of.  I don’t know.  All I know is, I pushed on as always in a rapid cycle of slicing and dicing and moving platforms.

And then, as I approached a quieter area, something caught my eye.  I was close to what appeared to be the exit.  The ground (although from down here it felt more like the ceiling) had lowered once more and sunlight came through.  And then it shined on a boulder that appeared to be blocking an entryway.  It was almost like a cavern on the other side, maybe.

And you know what else?

I ran into such a shining boulder back in the forest.  I thought it odd then, as well.  However, I didn’t dwell on it too much until now.  Now, I took the time to figure it out.  As I stared at it, I remembered the floating demigods (what, it sounds cool, doesn’t it) mentioning how there is always multiple paths to the same places.  Maybe there are multiple exits as well.  What could these areas lead to beyond these rocks.  I decided to try and test it out.  So, you know what I did?  I wacked it with my sword.  What?  Sword beats rock, right?  Evidently not, because the darn thing wouldn’t break.  I got pretty frustrated it.  It was too the point that I punched it because I was so upset.

And then I hurt my hand.

Yeah, that wasn’t the smartest thing to do. I gave up and walked away in pain.  I decided it was time to leave the cavern and be on my way.  I got back to the surface and the ground closed up once more.  I made it to the other side of the mountain by going under it.  And all I have to say to that is thank the lords for I would have lost my mind being down there for too long.  Too dark and oblivious for my me.

Still, I came away from this excursion with more questions.  I really wanted to know more about the Lord of darkness/tyrant person.  I wanted to know what was behind those rocks.  I also wanted to know if I should feel bad about actually killing monsters.  And then I started to wonder about the heads themselves.  They are pretty mysterious in their own way.

As I pondered such deep thoughts, I came up with an instant idea.  One of my leveled up items included a giant hammer.  I could have used that to smash in these rocks.  So I checked how many points have until I level up next:

15/203140

Sigh.  Oh well, maybe if I can return to this spot eventually, we’ll be good to go.  Well, that’s all for now, log.  I’m so exhausted I can sleep like a you tonight (get it, because your a log?).  Right, I really hate my life, but anywho, have a good one.

1-3

Hoo boy, I tell you.  I have not slept in a few days.  Maybe two.  My point is I am very sleep deprived.  Now, how's that?  Isn't that awesome?  So, if I start to not make any more sense, well there you have it.  I am bonkers right now.  This is craaaazzzzzyyy.  So, why am I so nuts right now?  That is a good question.  Perhaps I need professional help.  Nah, I'm just yanking your chain.  No, what's really going on is that I chose to forgo sleep for further exploration.  After all, I accomplished a lot.  I was too excited and energized, though I may just fall asleep writing this, who knows.

I made it to the next world and I just could not wait to swing my sword around.  It sure beats the stick (or if you want to get literal, cuts the stick, gufaw, gufaw).  So, I decided to make the final cut.  Alright, alright, I'll stop.  Yeah, so, the next world was quite the opposite of the last one.  Instead of going down, down, down, we went up, up, up.  And it was exhausting, but fun.  Yeah, I had to dodge giant tomatoes.

TOMATOES!!!

Boy, this adventure just keeps getting better and better.  Tomatoes.  Yeah.  And the sword doesn't do jack to them.  Nope, nope, nope.  Sword does nothing, can you believe that.  I lost count at how many times I died getting pummeled by giant tomatoes.  Oh hang on, what's this?  Apparently, my friend, you have a counter recording how many times I died since I started this adventure.  And you know what?  It's pretty depressing to see just how many deaths there have been on my part.  Some hero I am.  Will they do away with me?  Am I going to get fired?  No, I can't get fired, I need this stupid job.  I got to make something of myself.  Damn you and your death tolls.  Oh forget, I'm just rambling.  Maybe I do need sleep or something.

No, no, I must tell you about my exciting adventures.  Tomatoes came my way and I had to dodge them once I got the gist of it, anyway.  And I did.  Left and right to avoid massive red fruit.  How humiliating, right?  And as if that wasn't enough, I also had to push against the river that was coming down the mountain.  Yup, as I neared the top, the rain came in and poured like crazy.  Lightning, thunder, winds, the whole shebang.  I wasn't sure if I was going to drown in rain or be electrocuted by lightning striking the rain.  It was pretty damned frightening if I do say so myself.  But trust me, it was scary.  The resistance and weight of the water became damn unbearable.  I really had to grasp the mud with my feet and hold on.  If I wasn't exhausted before, I was really exhausted by weightlifting of my own body. 

And it gets even better.

All of the chomping, walking veggies that I encountered earlier came surfing down on me on leaves.  I had to avoid that too.  Luckily, my sword worked on them.  A whack or two and they were down.  Still, I had to make sure my sword connected in order to slay them and not die.  Oh by the way, all those deaths meant I had to start at the bottom of the mountain again each time.  *SIGH*.  Oh well, at least I got a good work out in.  So, yup, that was it.  Climb, swing sword, lift my heavy body (shut up) out of the mud and water and repeat.  And then, I reached the top. Yay.  And realized I had to go down the other side.  Crap.  I noticed two more things as well.

The first was the cute little jingle that appeared on you once I reached the top.  It said checkpoint.  I have to admit to missing that before.  And that was, of course, assuming it happened before.  Maybe I was just too caught up in...whatever.  The point I think is that...uh...did that make any sense?  Sorry, think I'm fading.  Right, I was trying to say is that now I think I can die and start back from this spot.  Well, I decided not to chance that discovery.  At this point, there was no way I wanted to start back at the bottom of the mountain.  Nope, nope, nope.

The other thing I noticed were all the veggies riding the leaves were coming up from the direction I needed to go.  That gave me a fun idea.  So, I naturally killed one and stole their leaf.  That's right, I forced it to LEAF its spot, mwuahahahahahahaha.  Go ahead, say it:

I'm a terrible person.

But whatever, that's just a minor detail.  So, I got on the leaf and rode it down.  That was much nicer that sloughing uphill through the mud.  Still, as I rode the leaf downward, I had to maintain control of the direction either left or right and avoid veggie enemies.  Oh and I died at least once or twice more.  Well, at least I got prove my checkpoint theory.  Then, I noticed my life counter which said I had only one left.  I knew that if I died once more, I would have started all the way at the bottom of that stupid mountain.  So, I was real careful in abilities.  I steered the leaf to the left and the right and swung at every eggplant and worms and what have you.  Yes, I was at the peak of my abilities, knowing full well the consequences of even the slightest mistake.  I saw the bottom, it was near.  I felt a torrent of adrenaline having glimpsed my victory exit from this stormy mountain.  Nothing could stop me at all.  I would continue against the powers that be.  I would conquer everything they threw at me.  I would be unstoppable.

And then I hit a rock.

And died.

"FFFFFFFFF!@#$#%$#@#$%$#%$#$@!@#$^&^*(M)!!!"

That was my response.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN I HAVE TO CLIMB ALL THE WAY UP THAT @#$! #^(! MOUNTAIN AGAIN???  SSSSSHHHHHH!@#$$%$%^%&%&^#$!@!@!@w!!!!  WHAT IS THIS, SOME KIND OF SADISTIC GAME OR SOMETHING?!?"

"SSSSSIIIIIGGGGGHHHHHH!!!"  

Anyway, after that frustration, I finally got it a second time.  Yup, after memorizing the pattern of the mountain and my enemies and every other freaking obstacle they could throw at me, I made it.  It was lovely and I was exhausted.  I made it to the other side.

And then, realized it wasn't over quite yet, oh no.

I had to walk a little further.  Really?  After all that?  Are you kidding me?  Nope and Yup.  Just a little further and then the victory jingle.  And then, the sky lit up, clearing rain.  And I danced and fell from exhaustion.  Then, I got up from renewed energy after conquering the mountain.  I saw the castle from here.  So, instead of sleeping like a sane person before a next adventure, I pushed forth into the castle.

Oh man, now things were getting intense.  I'm dead serious.  This was a castle.  I have yet to encounter a castle.  But, fear not, for I had my trusty sword with me and whatever blue power-up I could find.

The gates lifted ever so menacingly.  The storm returned as if to laugh at me.  And I entered with a gulp and wide panic and terror that menaced me in ways you couldn't imagine (probably because you are just a recorder on my wrist).  I entered the forbidden castle of ominousness and well, entered.

Okay, okay, I swear it was getting exciting.

The air was stale and the walls were decrepit and eerie.  There were echoes that rang all throughout.  That made it impossible to gage if anybody was coming at me until they were closer. 

So, I continued into the dark hall of doom.  Bwuhahahahahahahahahahahahaha.  At least, that was the sound I imagined I should hear.  And of course, more monsters came right at me.  It was quite interesting.  They were ants.  That's right, ants.  They were not happy to see me.  Unless they show love and affection by charging at me with their pincers.  So, I jabbed with sword and they were felled. 

That's right, don't screw with a hero.  I know what I am doing.  And then, I had to avoid swing scythes. 

How cliche. 

And then, I had to wait for moving platforms over lava.  Lava?  Really?

And then, I had to immediately slash at another ant that met me right at the other side.

And avoid another scythe.

And avoid the lava pit and the cliff and the ants and the scythe and the stairs that flattened out and the spiked ball that came crashing down and I just lost my sanity right there, blah, blah blah blah...

Sorry about that, nearly dozed off again.

So, anyway, as I was saying, I finally made it to another checkpoint.  I said to myself:

"Holy crap, how much more is there to go?"

In case you were wondering, yes, I lost more lives in the castle.

How discouraging.

But after more thrusting and slashing and running and dodging and dying and losing my air all at the same time, I finally made it to some big, important-looking door.  It was darker than the rest of the castle which helped it stand out.  It was even darker than the darkness (I don't know, it just has that feel).

At this point, I managed to nab a blue power up.  Instead of firing like a ball from my stick, it flew out of my sword like an arc every time I swung it.  Neat huh?  I could cover more ground that way.

So, I approached the door of darkness and entered after it slowly creaked opened and then, slowly creaked closed behind me with an air of finality (like how dramatic I can be)?  The lights were dim but brightened as I approached the keeper of the castle.  It was horrifying, monstrous, the most wretched creature I had laid eyes on.  It was:

A GIANT GRASSHOPPER!!!

To be honest, I wasn't surprised at this point.  All I knew was that I had to avoid its hopping, lest I die.  Luckily, I survived the encounter without death. 

At first, I had no idea what I was supposed to do.  I swung my arc, but it did nothing to its body.  And then, it bent over and I swung at its head.  It changed color from green to blue.

Weird, I know.

Then, it started to hop faster and I was like "Oh crap."

So, I ran and waited and ran and waited for the monstrous of monsters to cower in fear whilst I swung my mighty arc at its wretched face.  Once again, I made impact.

And once again it turned to a color red and hopped faster.

I was like, oh shit oh shit oh shit all the way around the room.  And then, it hopped on me and made me lose my blue powers.

Stupid bugger.

Out of spite, I ran some more.  And I took my sword and jabbed it in his face.

And then, it exploded into nothingness.  I was stunned.  I couldn't believe I won my first victory against something that big.

Without dying, too.  Now that's impressive.

The only thing it left behind were a pair of legs that were smaller than me.  I grabbed them and they infused themselves within me.  I felt like I could so much more.  And then, my masters of three came to talk to thee (I love rhyming, especially when I have good timing).  They told me that since I defeated the ruler of this world, I have received the power to hop higher than ever before.

I didn't realize I was a able to hop in the first place, but hey, I'll take it.

They told me it was a grand victory and praised me lots.  I liked that.  It gave me my confidence back.  And then, they said I had seven more worlds to go before they disappeared.

Yup, victory was mine and wait...SEVEN  MORE????

That feeling of accomplishment last about as long their appearances.  Wow, I had a ways to go.  And how much harder was it to get from this point on?  On the one hand, I leveled up again by the end of it.  So, I chose to transform my sword into a mallet.  Alas, parting was such sweet sorrow, but I was curious enough to see what was behind the large boulders.

So, that was my last two adventures  and now I bid thee farewell for the night for I am exhausted and......sleeeeppppyysdlkjfskd.f.ds.fjjfkasfjkdsaddddddddddddddddddddd..............................................................................................................................................................